Gazza - off top of mi 'ed

Blog now Hosted on WordPress

2010-05-05T16:02:00.001+01:00

I've moved my blog! Still the same address though!

www.gazrose.com

3 Weeks To Go

2010-04-30T15:43:00.005+01:00

OK, so now I'm getting nervous and biting my nails vigorously. With only three weeks to go, Suzanne has finished work and is trying to catch up on 18 years worth of early starts by sleeping as much as she can before the arrival of Rosebud.

We've just been through a bit of trauma with the purchase of a push chair travel system as the shop we bought it from decided to do a runner without actually delivering our goods. Thankfully we bought on credit card and therefore rescued the cost! Furthermore we managed to source another one for the same price!

I think we're pretty much ready in terms of things required to keep a baby clean and healthy. You know, nappies, creams, bed, bath, toys, clothes etc... but are we really ready for the unbelievable change in our daily lives which everyone keeps telling us is going to happen?!? With God's help, I think so, yes. Not mention the help of our family and friends which we won't take for granted but will be extremely grateful for!

I often question if I'll be a good father but realise I don't have to do it on my own and have learned a lot from the way I have been brought up. My dad did a good job, hopefully I will too!

So - my next blog post may have a picture of young Rosebud on it, he/she may even have a proper name by then too.

Thanks to all of our friends and family who have supported us during the last 6 years as we've tried to bring a new life into our family. And thanks to God and the skill of the Doctors/Nurses for the miracle that is Rosebud.

Leading from behind

2010-03-17T10:59:00.003Z

I've had cause to think about leadership over the past few days and have come to the conclusion that being a leader should be someone who leads from within rather than above (if you get me).

Some leaders feel it necessary to be dictators, bullies, and have a misguided idea that they should be detached/aloof from the people they 'lead'.

I don't agree with that style and think that a leader who is liked will have more respect that one who isn't.

In my book a good leader is not one who is trying to get up the ladder by being hard or aggressive with his/her team, but rather one who is leading from behind, or within. To quote Lao Tzu:

As for the best leaders, the people do not notice their existence.
The next best, the people honor and praise.
The next, the people fear;
and the next, the people hate…
When the best leader’s work is done,
the people say, “We did it ourselves!”
To lead the people, walk behind them.

I hope my leadership style at our Church follows this philosophy.

Rose Bud

2009-10-02T16:42:00.006+01:00

We've just got back from having a 7 week scan and the feeling of actually seeing the baby ALIVE is one which I really cannot describe.

For the last 5 weeks (since implantation) it had not really sunk in that Suzanne was pregnant following 5 or so years of negative pregnancy test results. Until now that is!! Seeing a tiny flash every half a second or so and being told that was the baby's heart was very emotional. To think that something so small (about 10mm) already had a beating heart was simply mind blowing.

We've been supported loads by our family and friends over the past few years since we started undergoing fertility treatment and we thank them all. It hasn't been the easiest period in our lives together.

So, now starts the real hard part. From now on our lives change. Does anyone have a book about how to bring up children?

Just for Laughs

2009-09-30T15:24:00.000+01:00

Me and some of the lads at work - and yes, they are our bodies!

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I'm Spinning Around

2009-09-07T09:58:00.003+01:00

No, this isn't a reference to a Kylie Minogue [spelling] song, it's reference to my head. If you've read my other posts you'll know that Suzanne and I have been undergoing fertility treatment over the last few years.

We've been trying for a baby for the last 4-5 years or so without success. Our latest attempt has been using the IVF (ICSI) technology. I have to say, my part in the process has been the easiest whilst Suzanne on the other hand has been through the mill both physically and mentally.

Over the last 6-8 weeks she's had to have injections twice a day and has undergone minor surgery with the recent egg collection procedure. 8 Eggs were successfully taken from her and of that 8, 5 were fertilised. Of that 5, 3 fertilised successfully. Of that 3 only 1 made the grade for transfer back to Suzanne.

As you can imagine, we're both in a bit of a state. We have 1 more week to wait before we know if it's been successful or not. I have to say, it's killing us both. Our emotions are being pulled all over the place. One minute it's excitement, the next fear of failure. With the latter comes all sorts of other thoughts and fears too, not least the knowledge that we may never become parents. This fear is almost unbearable. Although we know that we are very blessed to have each other, we still feel the need to be parents, especially Suzanne. I think most women have a natural urge to be mothers and to think it may not happen, it's hard.

Men are from Mars and we like to fix things but in this case I can't do anything about it and it kills me that I can't give Suzanne what she wants.

On the positive side, we have a 50% chance of having a child and this is so exciting. Suzanne is going to be mental on Sunday if her pregnancy test is positive!! I can only imagine how happy she'll be!!

So, in short, it's going to be a strange week full of mixed emotion and expectation. I just pray that the outcome is a positive one, if not, then I pray that our experience will have taught us patience! Patience, that's a nice name for a girl right?!?

The picture is embryo Rose one day after fertilisation.

UberTwitter

2009-05-15T15:47:00.002+01:00

WOW - My Blackberry firmware has been upgarded to the latest version and with it came a problem. Twitterberry stopped functioning!! It's done this in the past and I've persevered with it until I got it going again.

This time, I was fed up and decided to search for a newer, better twitter app for Blackberry Storm. I stumbled across ubertwitter (by searching twitter actually!) and installed it straight away. I'm now convinced that it's the best twitter app for blackberry. It allows the usual stuff with the added feature of being able to re-tweet, upload photos and add GEO tagging to said photos. Fantastic!!

Just one word of warning, if you don't want people to know where you live, don't upload a photo of your house with the GEO tagging. It gives the long/lat down to the nearest 10 meters!

End of!

Ignore me - please don't

2009-04-06T14:09:00.002+01:00

I'm at Sunbury Court today, which is a SA property out near Heathrow. It dates back to the 18th Century when it used to be a 'Gentlemen's Club' (not whilst the SA owned it) and before that, the grounds were the site for Henry VIII's hunting lodge.

I'm here to help Reliance Bank with a test disaster recovery scenario and there are a few folks on-site doing various things. One of them was a piano tuner (nothing to do with banking, just here co-incidentally) who I had the great pleasure of having a chat with. I used to be a piano tuner before I got into IT and I still tinker with the odd tuning every now and again to keep my ear's in. It was good to talk about my old living and we discussed various things from the frequency of middle C to the ratio of 5ths (it's more complicated than people think!).

There were also some lads doing PATS testing (testing the sites electrical appliances for safety). Didn't get chance to talk to these folks but when walking between buildings, Colin and I passed them. Nothing odd there, but none of us exchanged any words, looks or smiles and it struck me right at that very moment as to how things have changed. When I was young, Mum and Dad always taught me to smile and say hello to people whom I made eye contact with and here I was, walking past three blokes without even a word.

I challenge myself to be more approachable, to talk to Joe Bloggs in the street and to smile and say hello to passers by!

We've become too insular as people, not feeling that we can stop and have a chat to someone we've never met before or failing to smile at people we pass on the street. Why don't we say hello anymore? What has changed that means that it's not acceptable?

End of mewsing

Wordle - Visualisation

2009-02-26T11:50:00.005Z

My boss recently introduced me to word visualisations (wordles) and they're great! Great for presentations, bible studies anything whereby you want to place your point in one visual word feast!

Here's one from the William Booth speech in May 1912 at the Royal Albert Hall.

It's a Miracle

2009-02-21T09:07:00.003Z

For the last 4 years (or so), Suzanne and I have been trying to have a baby, so far without success. We've been in and out to the doctor and fertility wing at the local hospital for various bits of 'helpful' treatment, drugs etc... It appears there's nothing wrong with both of our reproductive systems but for some unknown reason, it's just not happening! Makes me realise that it is truly a miracle!

We have recently been referred to a specialist fertility clinic and have qualified for some treatment called IUI. This treatment is very expensive but thank God, the local Health care trust have funded 3 cycles of this treatment (hopefully we'll just need the one!!).

'What is IUI' I hear you cry! Well, basically it's a process whereby the sperm is introduced to the womb through a syringe and catheter. It's then down to the sperm to do it's thing and find the egg! The catch is, there's no guarantee that there is an egg even though the woman's cycle is monitored almost to the hour, with scans, probes and all sorts of stuff.

Actually there's a lot more to it than that but I don't want you to get bored reading.

So, Suzanne and I are at that point. My sperm has now been inserted into Suzanne's womb and we now wait for the miracle!

I was totally blown away by the whole process and had lots of questions for the doctors and nurses who were carrying out the procedure. It amazes me that the egg knows where to go and the sperm know where and how to swim. I indicated my amazement to the nurse and asked the question, how do the sperm know where to go and what to do, do they have brains? The nurse now thinks I'm stupid!

This process has really brought home to me that it is a miracle and something incredibly precious. It makes me cross to hear that there are people in the world who simply abuse this miracle and who use reproduction as a way of having a good time without thinking of the consequences of the responsibility of bringing another human being into the world. I've been angered recently by the news of the young father and indeed the media's coverage of it. I'm sure they didn't really want a baby and suspect that the baby won't really stand a chance of having a decent and moral upbringing. (maybe I'm being judgemental there).

So enough waffle already, nobody reads this blog anyway. My point is, bringing a life into the world is a miracle and I want to make sure that I don't take it for granted. I intend to make sure that when we do have a child that it's given the best possible chance to live a good, Christian and moral life.

Now go read my wife's blog, she's a lot funnier than I am.

Martin Polins - Pass the Duchie

2009-02-19T15:17:00.000Z

Click on the title to see and hear something quite special.

Cool Monks

2009-02-16T11:22:00.003Z

A friend of mine sent me this. Genius!

Stereo Photography (3D)

2009-02-08T20:18:00.004Z

So what's Stereo Photography all about - I've no idea but these nice people at Wikipedia do. Click on the title to find out more.

Here's a video I took of a fella in Disney who had a contraption that holds two cameras and takes a simultaneous snap. At first I thought maybe he's taking some shots for a mate at the same time, then I thought maybe he's paranoid about losing data on one of the cameras.

See for yourselves:

Young at Heart

2009-02-05T16:11:00.005Z

This video was the scene this morning as we got up. The heaviest snow I've seen in the UK for a long time. It took me back to my youth when 6 foot snow drifts were the norm for the winter months on the lane where I lived.

I love a bit of snow, not sure why. Maybe its the feel of it underfoot. Or maybe it's the fact that the car will spin at the twitch of the handbrake. Possibly it's because it makes me feel young again! There's nothing I like more than to mess around in the snow, or have a snow ball fight. I'm toying with the idea of joining the youngsters on our estate in a snowball war but fear I may be put away! You never know these days.

The video below is a clip of my wife being her inner child. Making snow angels is one of her favourite things!

TWITTER

2009-02-03T13:57:00.002Z

I love twitter! It's a great way to keep up with the lives of friends and people I've an interest in where perhaps it might be difficult to do so otherwise.

It's also a great tool for getting to know work colleagues whom I've corresponded with in the past but never actually met, when I do finally meet them, we know a little bit about each other's social lives.

I had this very scenario in the last few weeks. @tmcphail is an Ozzy, lives and works there for the Salvation Army (Melbourne). I'd never met Tony until last week in the US and when I did, I found that it was easier to talk to him, knowing a bit about him already. For example, I know that he's a keen sailor and that he'd recently been in a competition etc...

So, the point of all this waffle is get yourself a twitter account. Even if you don't tweet, you can keep up with friends/family/colleagues and know a little bit more about them than you might if you didn't follow them and never phoned them!

Twitter

Rising Star

2009-02-03T11:37:00.000Z

Here's a link to one of the lads in the office whom we actively encourage to take up a singing career. If you follow MC's blog then apologies for repetition, but those of you who don't, have a listen. It's wonderful!

click here

You'll find more posts from MC in relation to our singing colleague on his blog.

Snowy! on TwitPic

2009-02-02T22:03:00.001Z

Well - snow has been falling all day here in Corby and although it was difficult to get off the estate this morning in the car, I was one of 4 who made it in to London to work. We did leave early however due to the uncertainty of the trains and in fact my journey was poor due to cancelled services.

Anyway, I made it home to this and thought I'd snap it for the history books. Afterall, it hardly snows in England anymore!

Worship Band!

2009-01-31T15:26:00.001Z

So, we've another concert tonight with guests Phil Cobb and me. To tell you the truth, they couldn't get the singer they really wanted and so just asked me very last minute (just before I went away for two weeks and returned yesterday - good prep, NOT!)

Anyway, it should be good and I reckon brass bands are still relevant in today's Church. Having said that I do think the kind of people your Church is made up has a lot to do with it too. I mean, it's no point saying we need a modern, contemporary Worship band if a) the majority of the flock is over 50 or hate guitars and bump bump music (as Grandad used to call it) or b) the musicians that would make up this Worship band can't really do it justice. On the flip side, what's the point of having a brass band if it just doesn't work in your Church.

I'm really lucky to be in a Church where both would fit. We have our brass band and it attracts people but we also do fit in the kind of music that would appeal to the more youthful people in our church. The good thing is that these young people also love brass band! It's win win!!

I hope that tonight goes well - Phil is a star and a top pal too. And I hope that our Church continues to grow and keeps that good balance of older and new styles of worship.

Coming back for good

2009-01-29T13:56:00.000Z

Coming home is usually something that I look forward to. Not feeling that this time. I wish I could stay here in the US.

I'm not sure where these feelings are coming from too. Maybe I need a new lifestyle challenge (I don't mean work, that's challenging and I enjoy it). Maybe it's just because I always feel better when I'm in the sun. Is there anything which I could contribute to the SA over here from a work perspective? Could I adapt to this different culture? I know Suzanne would enjoy being closer to her brother and family, maybe it is something to consider.

However, I'm guessing that when I get back tomorrow and life carries on, these feelings will disappear.

Watch this space!

Thoughts on ITX

2009-01-28T12:02:00.000Z

International Technology Exchange is the title and I've felt that it's a great gathering of like minded people on the whole.

I have to say though that I did sense a lack of love in the room. Maybe this is what happens when you put a group of 'leaders' together, there way is always best.

I hope that the IT leaders from around the world get behind the direction which has been chosen and share more. A great majority of the delegates find these weeks a real learning experience (me being one of them) and go back to their own territories with renewed ideas and motivation. But I'm sure there are also those who go back and perhaps think it's a waste of time, which is a real shame.

I have mixed feelings about the whole thing. One part of me thoroughly enjoyed meeting the people that I'd corresponded with but never met. The other part of me is emotionally drained due to the lack of love in the room!

We need more love and a sense of sharing if we're to move forward faster!!

ITX 7 - Orlando Florida

2009-01-24T18:29:00.000Z

Well, this is my first blog on blogger.com and I'm currently at the International Technology Exchange for the Salvation Army. This conference is a meeting of around 30 IT directors and staff from the Financially Independent Territories in order to thrash out issues, best practices and agree on an international IT Strategy!

We're staying in a hotel which is right beside the Walt Disney World resorts in Orlando and so this has it's benefits!

So far Commissioner Ann Woodall has been speaking to us about the Finance of The Salvation Army and how we as IT folks could perhaps make a difference and influence the direction of the financing and decision making of The Salvation Army.

I'm here for the next 4 days and so will try and blog what's going on each day.

I have to present with a couple of colleagues in a few of the sessions and so am not looking forward to that! But, I'm enjoying the interaction with the different IT cultures so far.